Crossing oceans
Sunday, October 6, 2019 | 6:02 AM
I love analogies. And this one came to me when I was suddenly awakened on a Sunday at 4am.
Life, is like crossing the ocean.
We all want to get somewhere. Some of us, born with superpowers, or rather, gifts, are able to swim across this vast ocean because of their special abilities. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Ma, our 21st-century wonders. "How did they get there?" - a question explored by many and wondered by all. But not all of us have gifts like that. It's okay.
Some of us, are born in the middle of the ocean. Born on a nice large cruise, built by their parents, or maybe someone related to them. They are ahead of others in crossing the ocean, with resources that others are not born with, with companions that not everyone is "lucky" enough to have. Yes, life is also about being privileged. You don't get to chose where is your starting point.
Some of us, are going against the current.
This perspective was formed during one of the social science class discussions I had in SMU. I think it was a topic about the glass ceiling and some social structures that prevent certain groups of people in society from advancing. The idea is this: imagine two people, a male and female swimming in the ocean. The male is swimming with the current and easily achieved what he set out to do - that career advancement, that promotion at the workplace, that recognition by society. But the female is swimming against the current, whatever she set out to do, something is pushing her back - that career advancement was not given to her because she was deemed too soft-spoken and not assertive enough to lead, the promotion was delayed because of potential pregnancy plans, society does not recognize her achievement because she's a mere woman, someone must have helped her.
This is not the best phrasing so I recommend the book: Against the Current: The Remarkable Life of Agnes Deans Cameron.
Some of us are trying to swim across the ocean. But along the way, we get tired, we find ourselves slowly sinking, we are lost and could not figure out the direction. And sometimes it seemed that no longer how hard to try to swim, the effort is futile and we are drowning.
The previous themes were priviledge, social constructs, and now I'm talking about mental health issues, particularly depression. Imagine swimming with a weight that only you could feel pulling you down.
The ocean is not always calm. There are storms, there are vicious sea creatures, there are fears of these storms and sea creatures that could make this whole journey a futile one. The ups and downs in life are things we have to learn to overcome and battle as we try to cross the ocean.
Some of us can't swim, so we try to build a boat to get across the ocean. We learn about the ocean, we try to set the sails on how to cross it. Maybe we are stuck at the shores for a very long period of time trying to build this boat. And having being stuck at the starting point for so long, we forget why we are doing what we are doing.
How many times have you asked yourself, what is the meaning of life?
If this is true:
The meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away.
I think it is okay spending your whole life building that boat, never leaving the shores but your boat have sent someone, or many others, across the ocean. It is okay, to never have left the shores because crossing the ocean? It's just for another shore.
Not all of us can cross the ocean alone. Sometimes we set out together with people, sometimes we meet people along the way that brought us nearer to where we hope to end up to be. It's lonely to cross the vast ocean alone. It's possible. But just, harder.
One of my friends posted this on his Instagram stories:
I heard someone say, "don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't cross a puddle for you."
Which I thought was good advice.
But then someone else spoke up and said, "no. Do it. Do cross oceans for people. Love all people. No conditions attached. No wondering whether or not they are worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn't about what you gain, it's about what you give."
And I changed my mind.
So as we go along in life, we are at different parts of crossing this vast ocean. They say "change is the only constant", and it holds true for each of us. We need to constantly recalibrate where we are, who we are, where do we want to go as we swim or sail along the ocean.
There are still so much I don't know about the ocean. For example, why does the ocean exist? What brings the storms to the ocean? How can I change the currents?
And you. I would cross oceans for you.
Labels: Quotes, Reflection, Theory
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