Talk is cheap
Saturday, February 14, 2015 | 5:18 PM
What do you mean I haven’t been posting!? Oh... This is my first post in February huh. Oppos. Well in my defense, my work revolves around the computer all the time and it makes my eyes easily tired so when I come home I would rather immense myself in house-work than technological devices (i.e. wash clothes, sweep floor, change the bed sheets etc.). So using the phone or iPad or the computer actually turns me off. LOL.
I don’t know when it started, but I stopped becoming much of a texter. I use to text 24/7, messaging long conversations about anything and everything but I hate texting for quite a while now. I don’t know why but I find it quite a chore to talk on the any technological devices. It’s not hard for me to come up with a reply, I’ve always been talkative online or off. But it’s hard for me to even want to reply. I wish text messages have the ticks thingy like whatsapp. Then I can give black ticks (lol not even blue ticks man). But I think this will end up giving people the wrong impression that I’ve stopped caring.
The other day Kaiwen was telling me how she feels like she’s born in the wrong era (we’ve been meeting after work to go home together). I guess this is how I feel, for totally different reasons as her though. I feel out of place knowing that we are in a techno-era. For some of my friends, I feel that they are more alive and comfortable in the virtual world as I blissfully remain in the so-called real world (I painstakingly chose the word “real” because thesaurus.com tells me that “real” is an antonym for “virtual” and I am incapable of outwitting the internet). A small part of me fears that this will create distance between us. Luckily, a larger part of me has more faith in my friendships than that. /cues for a photo featuring one of my favourite people in the world/
Perhaps it’s not that I was “born in the wrong era”. I think it’s more of... the way I was raised which doesn’t fit. It makes me think very differently from my same-age peers I guess. Speaking of parenting, I’m quite influenced by my dad recently. One of his belief in life is “action speaks louder than words” and there’s nothing that disgust him more than sweet-nothings and flirtatious wordings ...Kind of sad that his life partner (i.e. my mum) is totally unaware of his life philosophy. So when my mum showed me a cheesy text message she sent to him on Valentines morning, I got annoyed by her on his behalf. LOL
I was annoyed because she has never talked to him properly in real life for YEARS. She sent me or my brother to call for my dad for the smallest thing such as asking him to come and eat because breakfast/lunch/dinner is ready. She used the Teh Siblings as messengers for years and now she conveniently switch to her smartphone for this task that she dare not carry out in real life. And I really abhor it when people ignorantly think that virtual connections can ever match up to real-life interactions.
If you really love someone, I think it goes beyond asking the person for a meal with sweet words or impressive pick up lines. You try to find out what the person likes to eat, his/her personal craving at that point, the kind of atmosphere that he/she enjoys, his/her budget for food (I learnt over time that this actually makes a difference because there are people who feel more satisfied for a meal if they spend within their budget) and you’d watch out for the little things because that person matter that much to you.
It may sound like a lot when it’s listed out like this but it’s honestly not that hard when it concerns someone whom you truly care for. So it really annoys me that even if my mum wants to please the family (wistfully and naively included myself on top of my father and brother into the people whom she wish happiness for), she doesn’t really have the heart to do so in reality. To her, many things are simply just “too troublesome” to go the extra mile when it concerns other people.
While I have had my fair share of people who left unexpectedly and of people whom I’ve never count on staying, this “temporary people” thing still somehow shook me as I enter the adult society and meet more tap-and-go people. I’m not even including the strangers for this. Yours truly so prefer strangers over acquaintance man... For my friends, I can give my all cause they're worth it. For strangers, I can give my best shot cause I will never see them again. But wtf is with acquaintance?!
Thank you “some fool” from Urban Dictionary, especially for definition no.2 which I’ve yet to find a better phrasing for. :’) 2015 have just begun and already there were quite a few people who came and left. There was this guy whom I met during a job and we had quite a good conversation on varying topics. And now that I reflected back on it, I regretted not leaving it at that. Shouldn’t have gone to get his number and texted him especially when I’m not in my “ideal texting form”. It would’ve been better to end it as strangers rather than as acquaintance.
Then there was this dude who started talking to me online and we ended up texting. But he was too smooth a talker and while some girls may be flattered, honestly it really turns me off. I played along for a day or two and we never talked again. I admit that I have a sweet tooth but I’m allergic to honey-coated words (partly due to my dad’s influence as mentioned above and partly due to the realistic side of me who doesn’t believe in words that sound too good to be true, cause they usually aren’t true at all).
Not sure why am I blabbering on about this because as 2015 progress, I’m pretty sure I will get an endless list of these sort of people who come and make a ripple (not even a splash wtf) and don’t matter at all. While it’s quite pointless to record down these people, somehow, after I cross path with these people, I was reminded of “friend” who came and made a tsunami in my life. There’s this meaningless fear that with more people that I’ve came to meet, what if indeed, there is not a single one that can match up to him or outdo the tsunami that he has created.
P.S. If I hear any comments about how I should be moving on already I will seriously get irritated because I know that clearly. And I have, by my own definitions, “moved on”. I have come to terms with everything (i.e. no longer in denial about anything) and I don’t pin for him or wants him back. Whatever it is, I intended to and have started 2015 afresh.
Anyways, this post has been decorated with really pretty photos of yours truly because I went out with Wern recently and we had a mini photo-shoot outdoors. There’s part two of this actually cause we’ve been to quite a few places that day. She always makes the times spent with her so record-worthy, with all these memories to write about, to file nicely and hold dearly. OK! I’ll write about the outings I’ve been enjoying next time! That is, if I don’t get distracted by other things to write about, such as the psychology-related books I’ve been reading lately. P:
Labels: Family, Quotes, Relationships, Technology
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