I am forced by the passing of time, the transition of life stages, and the expectations of society to grow up and to behave like a "grown-up" (whatever that would constitute). But here, I would just be a little childish, a little self-centered, a little irresponsible, a little too honest but also a little too pretentious.

24, and still counting.




Kept all my past posts intact because my past was what made me, me. Deleting them doesn't change who I am so I revisit my memories sometimes, to learn and to laugh at my past mistakes.

(Just kidding, I revert some posts to drafts because I'm utterly embarrassed.)


January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
October 2012
November 2012
April 2013
May 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
July 2016
October 2016
December 2016
January 2017
March 2017
April 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
October 2019
December 2019
April 2020
May 2020


Designed by: Ahting

Last month this time , when someone tells me time will heal the wound , i would never have believed him or her . But now , i realize , whoever that said that ishh right . After this , this horrible stage when you think everything ishh gonna be over , it's gonna be alright agains . Moreover , i think this aint the first time i'm gonna be without you . And i think , this ishh gonna be a better version of a " happily ever after " . p:

分手1天后
假若我们相遇
我会看着你的眼睛
用泪水告诉你
不愿意看你离去
只要你回头
重新开始多少次我都愿意

分手1周后
假若我们相遇
我不知所措
直到你消失在人群里
我才知道
这个夜晚陪伴我的
只剩下哭泣

分手1个月
假若我们相遇
我会掉转眼光
假装没有看见你
却在心中升起希望
希望听到你叫我的声音
听见我每晚魂牵梦绕的声音

分手1季了
假若我们相遇
我会停下脚步
静静地站在街角
不想被你的快乐看见我的哀伤
已经注定的结局
好不容易平复下来的心情
不想再被打扰

分手已经半年
假若我们相遇
打招呼的表情可以是淡定
心里涌起的
却还是深深的惋惜
也许还有恨
是爱情留下的痕迹

分手后1年
我依然希望和你相遇
想让你看到
没有你的日子
我也可以活得愉快
想让你告诉我
你也很好
即使没有我在你的生命里

分手后两年
却始终无缘与你相遇
所有所有的话语
深埋在在我一个人的心里
所有所有的场景
只是自己虚构的梦境
做过了梦破了只留下残破的回忆

最后
世界一圈圈旋转
时间一天天继续
我们告诉自己
多苦多痛
明天也一定会来临
以前的过往谁会在意
没有人在意……


Credits : http://m-istletoekisses.blogspot.com/ :)

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Just three short days and so many happenings . Let's start with the day right after i last blog . Friday . So the whole day , i was getting wayyyy excited about surprising Fengxian with his belated birthday surprise and my Sally , Wanzhen and Shiqi ( who was unfortunately unable to make it ) with another secret surprise and they themselves gave me another surprise instead . TSK . So about their surprise first .

Beloved seniors nominated me for ALs . Along with it come many roller coasters of emotions . First , the pride and honor . Being someone who put running away as option A when met with problems , and a well-known weakness of mine at that , i was ultimately surprised that i was still given a chance at this . And the thing is , i know i cant play . Given another time , another place , i would gladly take up the job with embracing arms . But this is my band . It concerns my percussion . And hell , i dont wanna mess it up agains . For we really been through alot together , now that i think about it . But the thing ishh how can i be a leader when i cant even play my own part well ? And in comes the second feeling , fear and stress . Moreover , i hurt my left hand ( my weaker hand omg ) during the very first 3J class outing ( top picture ) and now it hurts . :/ But anyways , i cant play . I'm improving at a snail's speed ! And i AM improving uhh . My piano teacher said so today too . I could pitch better in oral , able to sightread with less pauses and more confident in my playing compared to once upon a time . But i dont think i cans catch up . ... Darn all this pessimistic thinking . But anyways , there comes the conflict with my dad who thinks this ishh so gonna be a waste of time . Which i beg to differ after some seriously serious thinking .
In conclusion , i'm going to try my best at this , and learn and learn and self-improve . I dont expect much , but i'm gonna try my best at doing it right . :D

And now , the surprises i made for my perc doughnuts . Apparently it was Fengxian's birthday on Wed . But since all birthdays that we celebrated before was unique in their own way , and i've come short onto ideas so i decided to surprise him instead . So we pretended that we forgot about his birthday and made no mention about it at all to him , though i told everyone that we're gonna celebrate his birthday , i told him instead that i'm going to surprise the seniors , mainly welcoming Wanzhen (L) back into perc and thanking Sally and Shiqi the hard work they've put in for us during the SYF period ( kinda belated yeah ) . But anyways , the point ishh , i'm ever so proud to say that i manage to surprise EVERYONE ( other than Sarah whom i told the everything to ) with all the gifts i've prepared and everything . I really liked it and enjoyed myself tremendously , esp that huge sense of pride that i manage to pull it off . :D
But the most important thing ishh , i want my Perc to know that i love them i really do . For without knowing it themselves , they have helped to taken my mind off things when i needed them the most . ( i think i said it like ever so many times before )


Along came saturday . After having a quarrel with my dad about coming home late late after the Perc dinner , then quarrel again for my taking part in the AL thing , so when i asked for permission to go class outing , it was a expected and definite no . BUT this time , i din gave up and i asked again on saturday itself . And i managed to convince my dad to allow me to go the next day morning ! (Y) And it took a lot of convincing mind you . :P

So expect a blue moon soon for i went to a class outing ! (Y) Went to Sentosa's Palawan Beach . Hope i had a nice tan . Got a broken left hand though . :/ So the guys played soccer , and we girls tried to be a good sport ( for like , 20 minutes plus ) and being a competitive Capricorn , i retardedly tried to act macho and block the ball with my hand and BANGG , my left hand took the bulk of the force and now it's like , pain die . ( Did i mention that i had piano today ? And my hand was like , dead and unable to react cause i over strain my hand after awhile with all those chords and running notes ) But nevertheless , i had fun , well , more fun then solo emo at home anyways , cause we had like a lack of bonding activities and i din really plan on what to do , only planned on how to be able to go . Lawls . :x but anyways , i'm glad i went , cause i get to see that cute and shuai guy ! KIDDING . I'm glad i went and din miss out all the fun and had a chance to see my class guy's being gay and oh-so-cuteeeeeeee ! ♥


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Quick updates :

1. Thor was awesome ! :D Forgot when i watch it , sometime last week probably . Moral-wise i din learn much , but i think the action and how the story flow ishh really really nice . Another good movie which leaves you pretty stun and overwhelmed in the end . And Chris Hemsworth (Thor) was ... like , hot man , great acting-skills , ...... hot man . ♥
2. The main lead in Black Swan , Co-star in Thor , main actress in No Strings Attached ... Natalie Portman amazed die me . In all the various shows , she ishh like , a totally person . I watched Black Swan first , then i only realise it was her in Thor when i went to do a little stalking and research after watching the show ! :X Amazing woman (L) .
3. My maths test from 11/30 to 16/30 to 14/30 to 29/30 !! SO PROUD OF MYSELF . :D and , my hard work SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR ( tyvm ) has finally paid off ! :D other grades are also generally okays , but that maths test grade really let me happy die . (Y) and i shall work even harder to keep it at that ! P:
4. Long time no band , finally had band agains on last tues , din realise how much i missed it omg . :x band really helped to take my mind off things . And despite all the stress , the scoldings , the putting down of myself ever-so-ocassionally , i realise i always had a lot of fun . A LOT OF FUN . Thus , shall have section dinner tmr ! ( secretly excited for it cause i planned quite a few stuffs . :x hope it goes according to plan omg )
5. I'm a spendthrift . :/ and the thing ishh i'm like real poor de . :/ Suppose to window shop awhile only today after school , end up getting sth from every single shop i step into . And seriously , after piercing , i start getting pretty many studs and there goes another portion of my money . :/ BUT , most of the things i've bought today ishh for friends de , ( THERE i dont feel as bad now . LOL ) So point no.5 ishh , once agains , me complaining of being broke . P: OH , and how much i love shopping omg . ;x

Okays , i love the number 5 , so shall stop there . P: Meanwhile , everything , ishh generally okays . Other than the unpleasant weather throughout the little island . Oh and the exciting general election that happened last week ... Idk if it's me who never seem to notice such things when i was younger , or was it that such things only start to happen now . :/ Anyways , i realise i still have a longggg way to go . :X Speaking of the future , did this ( school-related ) future career survey thing today and yours truly got Producer-Presenters ( job : produce and present music and magazine programmes. The programmes they create are heard on music stations ) ... Cool .


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Quite happening recently . :) Saturday had this Fujian briefing in the morning , gonna be sharing room with Isabelle (L) for the china trip ! *punches hands into the air* Anyways , she came to my house after the briefing then we went over to her house with Lijun and Edina to celebrate Lijun's birthday . Although it wasn't much of a celebration , it was the time spent tgt that counts . I forgot it was this easy to talk to people . I wish things are always like this with everyone . :/

Anyways , watch Black Swan , yes that long ago movie which ishh M18 de , at Isabelle's house . No wonder Natalie Portman won an Oscar . The storyline ishh kind of pathetic , but the character she brought out made all the difference , made the show worth watching . Though i din learn much from the show , and the way we skip alot of parts made it very confusing , it made me see much more into split personality . ( Good for my future studies in psychology . LOL . ) And no wonder it's M18 , if not for my matured mind (kidding) , i would be having nightmares by now . :X But anyways , it's a beautiful show with beautiful people and beautiful dances . Ah and beautiful clothes . HEE .

Went out with my mum on Sunday . Had this sudden horrible indifference out of nowhere in the middle of the so call outing . Normally i go out , i'll have this mad urge to go see the clothes , try to make my mum to buy some new shoes or bags for me , or go try on some accessories , or even going to some bookshop to read and persuade my mum to get me a new novel . But no . None of that happen yesterday and it felt very scary not knowing where your cravings go and wanting nothing in life all of a sudden . It's all that none-of-these-matters-anymore feeling all over agains . And that ishh when i know i've crossed and mix up the line of life and death . Idk how to put it into the right words sia .

But nvms , it's over ler . For now anyways . Now that i got a ear hole , i've new cravings (for earrings) ler . Dang . There goes another portion of my money . Speaking of earrings , went out alone to get one or two today . Yeah , alone . Pretty amazing if i say so myself . I always have this fear / hatred for crowds , and i need my friends around me to sustain that uncomfortable feeling in the crowd . Seems like i've pretty much overcome it today . And this year , i somehow seem to have done quite a lot of public speaking . Which i felt a lot of cheng jiu gan after . :D

` Stop saying things you dont mean . Dont be like me .
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