I am forced by the passing of time, the transition of life stages, and the expectations of society to grow up and to behave like a "grown-up" (whatever that would constitute). But here, I would just be a little childish, a little self-centered, a little irresponsible, a little too honest but also a little too pretentious.

24, and still counting.




Kept all my past posts intact because my past was what made me, me. Deleting them doesn't change who I am so I revisit my memories sometimes, to learn and to laugh at my past mistakes.

(Just kidding, I revert some posts to drafts because I'm utterly embarrassed.)


January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
October 2012
November 2012
April 2013
May 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
July 2016
October 2016
December 2016
January 2017
March 2017
April 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
October 2019
December 2019
April 2020
May 2020


Designed by: Ahting

The student care that I work for has a few different centres around the east area. For now I’m assigned a particular centre but I’ve been to every single one of the centres (I don’t really enjoy the constant change of environment, which always happen at last moment notice but looking back, it wasn’t that bad an experience). Anyways, to get to my current workplace, I have to walk past an area of landed property from the MRT and every so often I caught myself admiring the houses, imagining my own dream house and wondering about having an extravagant life.

It also reminded me of a guy who used to be in my life (for the past 7 years up till 3 months back). We were sharing our dreams once and he told me that his dream was to live in a big house and have a nice car. I thought that his dream was kind of shallow (okay admitting it makes me feel like I’m a terrible person because I don’t have the rights to judge anyone’s dreams or trample on their dreams like that... yours truly would like to present a sincere apology sobs), so I asked him what his childhood dream was, and he told me he wanted to be a banker.

I didn’t understand then that why anyone would pursue such a materialistic dream for such a long time, throughout his life. It is probably the most common dream there is to be, apart from yours truly’s childhood dream, which is to be found by my biological parents, who happen to be the king and queen of a country under the rule of a monarchy and to be told that I’m already bestowed to a prince as handsome as Eddie Peng. Hais. Dear secret-biological-parents-of-mine, y’all are taking your own sweet time to come find me ah!

Yours truly can’t believe she just confessed her innermost dream to you guise omg you lucky bunch of readers. Hahahaha. Sorry about the lack of sanity here but yours truly have yet to have breakfast but she’s too lazy to get out of her room to grab something to eat. (Actually right after I typed this, I went to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and a banana LOL but I’d still like to use the excuse of being too hungry if my post sounds boring or confusing later on) But truth be told (not that my princess dream was a lie), my dream is actually to make people happy.




(Doesn't looking at me makes you wanna smile? Especially with my effortlessly chic(k) and colourful fashion sense)

When I was younger, it was “to make people around me happy”, and boy, the lengths I’d go to make people laugh. They’re not kidding when they describe me as “crazy” (we had this activity in school last time, where people stick a piece of paper on their backs and we’d go around anonymously writing our first impression of that person on their back and 80% of the words I got was “mad”, “crazy”, “siao” HAHAHHA). From saying the silliest things to doing the wildest antics (why did I crawl outside classrooms I’ve absolutely no idea), I’ve probably used up all of my sense of naïve humor then and now I prefer humor like puns and such.

But now that I’m older, the people that I want to bring happiness to expanded and increase, not just around me but also beyond. I might have met them, I might have not, but directly or indirectly, those who have crossed even the slightest path with me, I want to be a reason for them to smile. The last time I wrote about this topic, I wrote that I wanted to own a shop-house and I’d be a counsellor and hold my sessions on the second floor and have a café on the first floor, for DnD parties for the patients once in a while (tragically, I’ve yet to consider the PDPA issues regarding patients information if a party was indeed held). That said, yours truly’s dream has taken a different turn now but she’s not sure if she’s ready to write about it just yet.




When put alongside each other, his and my dream seems to be worlds apart, and we are working towards very different goals. The downside of having a partner who is not going in a similar direction as you, is that you can hardly be inspired by the other person. And an uninspired person is hardly alive. Tragically, to add on to that, we held very different philosophies in life. I believe in a balance of my time, from people to projects to personal time, a balance which I’ve always been advocating here since the last day of 2013.

While he believed that a balance can never exist.

As mentioned previously, I’ve known him about 7 years or so. Things have never quite worked out well between us and we had a lot of ups and downs throughout these years. In between, people had come and left (a nicer way of saying we had other partners after breaking up and then getting together again) and we had tried again and again. (LOL what a way to summarize a 7-year-relationship) They always said follow your heart when it comes to love, but at this point in life, I realized the head needs to put in some effort too.

He felt that relationships should be a priority so as I seek a balance in life, the time that I allocate for him, will never be satisfactory or enough to him. It is not wrong, though a bit selfish, but it’s just not the kind of life that I seek and not one that I can agree to. It can probably work out for some people but that person will not be me.




So while a blog is usually centered around the author, (and when I blog, I’d share about my life and my experiences, making it seem like very ‘me, me, me’) but I’d like for whoever that still visit this space of mine to have some takeaway too, whether it’d be some laughter and pleasure or some thought-provoking lessons, just be enriched in one way or another. So the lesson of the day is this, find someone who shares similar dreams and philosophy as you and if that fails, at least find someone who believes in it and support you towards it. Cliché but it took me 7 years to really ingrain it into myself. (And I’m glad I finally did)

Just thinking of my parents and what a mismatch they are. From an astronomical point of view (yes a psychologist, ahem, would-be psychologist can dab a bit into astronomy too okay), one’s an Earth sign and one’s an Air sign. Anyone can see that the earth and sky never meets, one stays rooted while the other roams free. And if that is really their philosophy, no wonder one would give up overseas opportunities to work from home while the other finds all sort of reasons even if it’s just to go to the other end of the country. How do they manage to stay together for this long... Okay maybe that’s credited to my brother and me.

With all that said, later when I walk past all the landed property again, I’d probably still feel a sense of awe and envy. Especially those pretty houses with a pool and a balcony, oh not forgetting the one with a large yard to roam free. I can’t decide whether I’d prefer chic and modernity, or cozy, warm and full of festivity. (EH EH EH IS THIS A POEM) So back to the dream of having a big house,


P.S. This post took me two hours and it's one of the rare times I finished it in one sitting /gasp/

Labels: Dreams, Memories, Relationships, Theory, Updates

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