Goodbye to things I once knew,
Thursday, July 16, 2015 | 11:00 PM
Is it even legal to have to go through so many farewells in a month? I think having to say an official goodbye is something terribly challenging to pull off. There's just no ideal or right way of saying goodbye. Is it even a goodbye ceremony or does one call it a farewell celebration...? I think calling it a celebration is inappropriate since parting is not something to be celebrated about right? Like "YAY!! BYEBYE!!", sounds like one is saying good riddance sia LOL.
What kind of emotions is one suppose to bear during a farewell then? (Maybe just calling it farewell is better LOL why did i even bother trying to decide whether it should be called a ceremony or celebration) Am i suppose to bid farewell with the intention of never seeing that person again or say it with the hope that we will meet again? If we are going to meet again anyways then why even all through the hustle and bustle of preparing some sort of farewell? And if we're not meeting again... That's something too sad to think about man. Gosh I shouldn't have written this out.
Born a sentimental romanticist, I like to write long heartfelt letters to people during occasions like these or whenever I'm "in the mood". Penning down my deepest and most sincere thoughts and feelings to the person, reminding them of things which I hope they won't forget, be it the good or the bad. But being the practical realist that I am, the more I write these sort of letters the most conflicted I feel when I write things like: "let's meet up again soon", "let's continue to create more heartwarming memories together", "catch up soon yeah?" Sometimes, it's like making a promise meant to be broken. Other times, it feels like one is just using these words to fill up the spaces. But more often than not, I really meant what I written or say.
I know I'm not the only one who kept letters and cards given to them. And I really keep all of them. Even the ones from primary school where the teacher assign a classmate to you and make you thank that person (wait... it's not only my primary school that did sort of things right...? LOL) I've this piece of paper from JY about what she likes about me and what she feel that she can learn from me. Damn cutesy one ok? On some extremely emotional nights, I will dig out these letters (a large chunk of which are from people I met in RV - Classmates and CCA mates) and I will be like, *MEGA EGO BOOST* (Cause apparently no hate mails.... Yet.) And inevitably, there will be people whom one loses contact with and there's this indescribable bittersweet feeling with all the: "we had", "should have", "could have". Sigh.
I HAVE DIGRESSED.
Guess I didn't mention this in any posts previously but I extended my contract at SGE. Initial contract was till 3rd July (a 6 month contract) and I extended till 16 July (i.e. today) but something cropped up and I ended up extending the contract till 31 July. Many of my friends were like,"why would you wanna extend the contract..." And I was like, "why not" Hahah just kidding. I don't give insincere replies like this unless I'm really tired (of you. LOL JK I mean like tired physically) Firstly, it was commitment. I've been working there for half of my 2015 for this project and I cant just ditch it or leave it hanging when there are still things left to do. They needed time to find someone new to replace me so I stayed on until I can handover my duties to someone capable.
Secondly, it's cause I don't want empty days. Empty days are days whereby I have no plans or things to do. I hate it when I spend a whole day being unproductive and useless. Credits to my young hot blood that makes me restless maybe? But that said, it's not that I don't like to rest or that I'm a workaholic. I just hates it when my days are meaningless and aimless. Lazying in bed watching 슈퍼맨이 돌아왔다 (South Korea variety show also known as: The Return of Superman/Superman is Back/Superman Returns) or updating my social networking sites (i.e. FB, blog) once in a while is okay. But one day of being a slug is max for me man. (Which is why I signed up as a volunteer for NDP2015 so that my Saturdays are spent purposefully too) Having the job effectively fill up my weekdays and my school doesnt start till mid-Aug anyways.
Anyways those were the main reasons I'll be working till end of July. But this meant that most of my friends (excluding the Perm Staff, just the Temps and Interns) will be leaving before I do even though I started working at SGE before them. Had my third farewell today for three consecutive weeks (Those weren't my only farewells btw. People just seem to come and go at the place where I work). Sigh. And I'm really not looking forward to next week cause it's gonna be damn lonely without these people. But then agains, I've first started out working there alone, welcoming them in one by one. So I know I will be fine. ... But somehow I wasn't that lonely at the start as compared to this feeling that I'm having now sia.
That's what you get when you make spaces for others in your heart. When they go, they leave a hole. Tyvm.
The feeling of saying goodbye is one of the most important emotions in the world because if you don’t do it right, whatever (or whomever) you are trying to say goodbye to is going to linger. You have to do the thing properly. You have to journey the spectrum of goodbye emotions from weepy to pissed off to resolved. You have to send off the person, place or thing you are trying to say goodbye to fully, and be ready to say hello to the next thing.
P.S. I'm at the pissed off stage. Pissed off at how easy it seems for people to leave me behind. /roll credits for Teh the Drama Mama/ Hahaha JK. I wish y'all all the best in your future endeavors (Once wrote to Rio in a letter about how this line probably ALWAYS appear in all my letters and she was like, omg ya I was rereading letters from you the other day and really always that line. LOL) and I hope that I had been as great a company as y'all had been. :')
Labels: Farewell, Friends, Life, Memories, Work
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