I am forced by the passing of time, the transition of life stages, and the expectations of society to grow up and to behave like a "grown-up" (whatever that would constitute). But here, I would just be a little childish, a little self-centered, a little irresponsible, a little too honest but also a little too pretentious.

24, and still counting.




Kept all my past posts intact because my past was what made me, me. Deleting them doesn't change who I am so I revisit my memories sometimes, to learn and to laugh at my past mistakes.

(Just kidding, I revert some posts to drafts because I'm utterly embarrassed.)


January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
October 2012
November 2012
April 2013
May 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
July 2016
October 2016
December 2016
January 2017
March 2017
April 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
October 2019
December 2019
April 2020
May 2020


Designed by: Ahting

Here’s a nice selfie (IMO) for the pleasure of your eyes. (Sorry about the much filtering but I'm not naturally good-looking so I need some filter help) There’ll be quite a few selfies coming up in this post cause I’m having a good hair day and I’d like to share this joy with you! Anyways I think this will be quite a bimbotic post so if you don’t like those kind of stuff (which I like doing once in a while), better not continue and save yourself before drowning in your own tears of frustration (though I do think my (self-proclaimed) pretty selfies will make up for it).

So anyways, I recently figured out something about myself which makes me really wanna do this post, which will be about: my type of guys. DENG DENG DENG. If le readers complain about me not being personal enough with y’all, now is the time to take back your words. :P So before I begin, I’ve stumbled upon some marriage proposals on youtube and here’s one which reminded me of TFIOS:




After watching that one, I started to randomly watch many others (supposedly) real-life marriage proposal. I think the beautiful thing about marriage proposal, is all the unspoken promises that hangs in the air. (Oh and the courage) Personally, I feel that the best ones are not the elaborated (and unrealistically expensive) ones but the truly expected yet unexpected ones, like the “I know I can only have him as my other half for the rest of my life, but OMG I didn’t expect him to propose” kind of thing. That said, it would be nice to have a really unique proposal though.

When people used to ask me what type of guys do I like, this is what my brain thinks: “Hmmm... I don’t think I have a “type”? I don’t have a list of characteristics (loyal, caring, trustworthy etc.) in mind to tick off when I meet someone or when someone jio me I guess. When I fall in love, I will just fall in love? Then I just take the full package and figure out what I’ve gotten myself along the way.” But this comes out from my mouth: “Hmmm… Buff, dark and mysterious, confident, funny, good skills in bed, double eye-lids, long and slender fingers, understanding, caring...”

For a period of time, I was kind of troubled as I can’t really define the type of guys I like (if you can’t relate to what I mean, it’s the feeling of when an mathematician is unable to solve a math question or when an economist don’t understand the economy), and just said the things that an average Joe will say? Because there is no consistent traits/personalities/appearance between my boyfriends, flings and eye-candies... Though it’s true that I’m a sucker for double-eye-lidded dudes. Speaking of eyes, I think I’ve been mentioning it on my blog for ages but I think the gazes between lovers are really significant to me. One of the things I’d (look out and) fall for is definitely the way my guy looks at me.



So the other day, I figured out that I do indeed have a “type”. And the things I look out for in a partner is very different my eye candies. (P.S. I’ll be talking about three different kinds of “my type” in this post: the candies, the flings, and the one that got away) My eyes can’t help following slim and tall dudes, those kind with the nice and toned and well-maintained body, you know, those with the broad shoulders, tiny waist, perky arse and well-defined arm muscles, the kind of player-looking guys who look like they’ll give you one hell of a good fuck. Have I mentioned that I ADORE staring at guys with carelessly ruffled hair?

I guess that’s for almost every girl isn’t it? Though I can’t speak for those who prefer the cute, nerdy kind. I know I make it sound as though I’m a macho-worshipper which... Is kind of true. I like guys who look like they can hold the rein (my my, suggestive word play). LOL. So I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this but my eye candies are usually the “beng next door” (in Sg context, if it’s in Western context I think I would love the “jock next door”). Side tracking a bit, but I went to google “jock” images and it’s too M18 that it’s slightly disturbing, it’s tons of guys in only their undies. Wtheck has the society changed so much that now jock no longer means sporty high school boys? D:

Just googled the meaning of “girl next door” to make sure that I didn’t get the definition wrong and Urban Dictionary said that “in general, she's the girl whom you always admired from afar and were afraid to approach, fearing that any erotic projection toward her would ruin her image as a decent, pure and almost virginal womanly ideal”. So my “beng next door” means “in general, he’s the guy whom you ogle at from afar and were too shy to approach enjoy looking at but have doubts of claiming, fearing that this character (which will most likely be quite jerk-ish, although I’d rather be proven wrong) would ruin your impression of him, because just by standing there, he’s God’s creation at his best”. ... Am I a girly girl yet? LOL /cues for girly girl selfie/




Who am I kidding... I’ve been a girly girl since I started this post. LOL. On to another spectrum of this discussion, the flings. I’d first like to declare that I’m not a player kind of girl (though I can easily give off those vibes and give people that impression but I do quite take my relationships very seriously (as can be seen from my sentimental and cheesy self and romanticized beliefs) but I have the luck to cross paths with assholes who decide to take HALF a step further, throwing sweet nothings (literally nothing) and empty promises at me. /screech ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’/

But that doesn’t mean I’m held up with these guys (yes it’s plural tense boohoo), though it makes me feel like crap for a period of time, whenever I reflect upon it, I’m really glad that nothing have come out of it all. Now that I think about it though, I think my flings just show how weak-hearted I am especially when I’m lonely. I have no idea what attracted me to them in the first place?! Now my self-loathe meter has exploded from overwhelming self-despise gosh.

I guess I don’t have a so-call type for flings and these are all bad mistakes. Note to self: the next time I flirt, I better make it clear that it shouldn’t be taken too seriously, I wouldn’t have a guilt-free life if I have some victims under my wing. Speaking of flirting, I think girls are more vulnerable to this sort of stuff than guys? Like every once in a while I’ve to remind girlfriends that the guy might just be flirting and the reason why flirt starts with the letter ‘f’ is cause it actually stands for ‘Fake love’. I’ve given up on my ‘True love’ beliefs (Idk when my naivety died either, I just realize that I don’t believe in it anymore) though I’ve been advocated the existence of such myths. Shame on me.

Speak to the hand 'cuz I no longer give a damn!

Lets talk about my “type” for “the one” and wrap this post up. I guess you would call the guys I fall for “the bears”. More than anything, being huggable is on the top of my list in the guy I pursue. Though abs are nice (especially to stare at and drool over), I like my guy to be a little meaty at the tummy cause it’s definitely more practical to have a soft tummy especially when it comes to cuddling and spooning (personal preference!). And the thing about being huggable is not just the built of the person but also the ability to let the person you hug feel at ease and comfortable.
“The best thing about a hug is that you cannot give one without receiving one”

There’s nothing quite like a good hug, the psychological effects are more healing than sex (I think? I don’t know much about the latter but it seems like it’s the most intimate activity for a couple and I’ve heard of its wonders and wolala but I’ve also read some articles on how women doesn’t enjoy it as much as men do and it’s a very saddening thing to hear as one of the female species) And while my relationship goals used to be: "Stay together. Be happy." Now I actually have a very different take on relationship because of what I recently figure about my family.

Four years ago, I still say things like “Aiya I give up on this house already la, it’s not even a place where I can call home?”, “I don’t care anymore, I wash my hands over my parents.”, “This is not even family… I give up.” Now, four years later, I’m still here under this roof. And it struck me that THIS is exactly what family is about. It’s about being there for each other at the end of the day. I will still continue to pass on the message from my dad to my mum and vice versa as they continue their cold war. I will still dote on my brother even if he dishes out my secrets and get me into trouble. I will still stand up for them because if I don’t, who will?

My dad said that I never do anything for him, unlike my brother who seems more mature than me in every way (Mainly cause he helps my dad with his workload. And fyi my dad refuse my help despite my volunteering) But I think I did my part in growing up well. I didn’t run away from home no matter how bad things get, I didn’t turn to cigarettes and booze, I didn’t get myself pregnant and I abide to the law (as best as I could). And though I’m a worrying child (it’s a daughter’s job to worry her parents!), I think if my parents are open-minded enough to accept and see for themselves the me I’ve become, they would’ve been proud of themselves for creating a masterpiecegirl like me.

Okay enough with the self-flattering. But what my parents make me realize about relationship is that firstly, divorce should not be an option, especially when you have kids. My parents could have easily divorced years ago and I will definitely have turned out differently from what I am now but I’m glad that they didn’t separate because I wouldn’t have learnt so much. I guess this is why people say “we thrive in the failure of others” LOL. But I’m glad that I don’t need to entertain the thought of losing my little brother or make the choice of who to live with.

Choosing between my parents is like asking me to chose between eggs or chicken to eat for life, I need both! ... LOL I just equated my parents to chicken and eggs.

I also realize that I want a guy who can handle jokes (fyi, my parents totally can’t) and make me laugh till my side aches. So other than hugs, I guess my next important thing to look out for in a guy, is his wit, from the things he say to the things he do. And my parents showed me that while I don’t need a guy who is completely the same as me, we must at least agree on some principles. For example, I think flirting with someone of the opposite gender is a no-no when you’re attached. (I will give you more than a life worth of cheesy shit and I am your sole supplier)

But the thing is, even if the jokes are always funny, even if there’s always love, being together for 24/7 (okay actually less than that if you minus all the random things like sleep or work in between) will make you sick of each other, especially if you’ve been together for many years (like how I got kind of sick of Running Man now even though the episodes always have something new). But, as with my family, despite all the craps, I will still come home at the end of the day.
And I need a kind of guy who will too.
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