Raised voices ,
Thursday, January 23, 2014 | 9:46 PM
Check out my sexy waist line. (Okay whatever let me be). Blogging again because I felt like it. And because I just finished two tough papers, (economics and history) I feel like I deserve a rest. Actually i think I always give myself more rest than necessary. Like if I do one hour of work I will give myself two (okay maybe three) hours of rest. Over-rewarding myself because nobody else will pamper me :( this paragraph of words are just rants and don't really have a point. Now for the main course.
Recently been scolded by teachers, not individually but as a group. The first time was during H2 Maths lecture, who scolded us about wanting to be treated as adults but acting like kids. The second time was during H2 Chemistry tutorial (by one of my favourite teacher in the world sobs), also scolding about how as 18 year olds, we act like primary school kids and do not deserve to receive the adult treatment we want and seek.
I agree.
We were overboard and we were not treating our studies as seriously as we should have. We did not respect the teacher standing right before us by giving them our fullest attention as they try their bestest (because they go beyond the word best) efforts to teach us and impart their knowledge to us. We deserve the treatment, the scoldings and we needed the wake up call. (Maybe I should use the word "I" instead of the word "we" because I don't have the rights to speak for the rest).
With the same words, when the tone is different, it changes how the receiver reflects. I personally believe that it doesn't matter who is doing the scolding, so long as the tone is fitting. The result of a more effective scolding will definitely make the receiver reflect on it and remain conscious about the mistake even days after the incident. Whereas an ineffective scolding, will be one that make the receiver feel wronged/insulted/angry or for the lack of a better word, pissed off.
Pissed off was how I felt when my PE teacher asked us to shut up while we waited to take our measurements for height and weight. Before that she scolded us to not use our phone. Cannot use phone, cannot talk, cannot go run a few rounds around the field, cannot use the gym equipment, can only sit there and wait for our turn to take our measurements. In this fast paced 21st century, sitting there, forbidden to do absolutely anything, is a very painful punishment indeed. Double the pain when your friends are just sitting there, and you cannot bitch about whether the teacher's arse is more humongous or her mouth.
I think it's smarter if one manages to insult/scold or get back at someone else without the usage of swear words (no need to degrade oneself or to go down to the loser's level). Which is why I am always in awe of GP (languages) teachers who are able to manipulate languages to their advantage and insult their victim (and for the craftier and more sly and mean ones, the insulted won't even realize that he/she was insulted) /salute/
And for effective scolding by teachers where the students will feel remorse, I think that the teacher should use a tone which make her sound like she was hurt by their actions and inevitably cause the outburst from her. And not a tone whereby she sound like some PMS lady and the noise level got the better of her patience. The takeaway should be: "I am trying my best here to let all of you learn something, but my patience and presence are taken for granted and I feel extremely disrespected and disappointed." And the message shouldn't be: "You guys are so noisy that it pisses me off, I need to talk and you guys should listen me, all of you are too arrogant. Argh."
I'm used to getting scolded. (At home especially) For good reasons and (most of the time), being scolded unreasonably for. No scoldings will ever shock or scare me after the "training" I receive at home. And I think there's nothing much to fear after having been through all those crap. Most of the time, I'll be thinking, "Huh so? What's the worst that can happen? Punishment, shame, scoldings, pain, they are not the things that hurt the most anyways. And at the extreme end, death? Meh." Such reckless attitude/mindset is undesirable of course but really, I'm so used to loud shoutings that it seldom shakes me anymore.
To make the human change, is never anger, but sadness. It's not the heat that pierce us at the core of ourselves, but the coldness the heart feels. A girl grow up not because of hatred, not because of the anger at a guy who mistreats her, but she grow up because of a broken heart, of the pain she went through and the river of tears. A guy grow up not from the number of fights he been through but he grow up as he lay there, after the fight, when the pain starts to get to him and when he slowly let his scars heal. We nurtures and grow, through mistakes pain. (Words from a true sadist, aka yours truly)
I think what's most painful about being scolded, is not the shoutings or screaming. It is not when we get scolded, not when the words are thrown upon us. It is the aftermath of being scolded. When the raised voice hung in the air and when silence took over. What is most painful, is after all the scolding, the silence became unbearably loud. (It's quite paradoxical if you think about this statement, where silence is no longer silent but deafening) In the air, hung the sorrys that you couldn't bear (or fear) to say out loud. In the air, hung the echoes of the words. And in the air, hung a silence so fragile, and dangerous, that it makes it hard to breath.
Maybe it's just me. /cue for badass face/
A piece of advice, never resort to "hot wars". Why hurt your throat and your mood to that extent for something that will be meaningless in the end. (Turning this into a statement rather than a rhetorical question) A Cold War is definitely more stimulating and enriching, where the attacks you carry out, are "more than words". (Technically though, it is "less than words" because the first and last to speak in a Cold War, loses it) To the people who I roll my eyes at whenever you are in my line of vision, I do not hate you and am merely judging you. I feel no resentment whatsoever towards you. If I do, I'll make sure to give you the
Okays .... it's just me.
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