I am forced by the passing of time, the transition of life stages, and the expectations of society to grow up and to behave like a "grown-up" (whatever that would constitute). But here, I would just be a little childish, a little self-centered, a little irresponsible, a little too honest but also a little too pretentious.

24, and still counting.




Kept all my past posts intact because my past was what made me, me. Deleting them doesn't change who I am so I revisit my memories sometimes, to learn and to laugh at my past mistakes.

(Just kidding, I revert some posts to drafts because I'm utterly embarrassed.)


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Designed by: Ahting

This will be a post of my daily happenings so if le reader is not interested about this kind of things, please don’t force yourself. (: Anyways, we had CCE/Champs lesson today. In RV, this is the lesson where they attempt to teach students values in class. To teach someone how to live a life using classroom context is definitely not effective but well, I applaud the school for trying, but personally I believe that values are learnt through self-realization and not when it is thrown at us. Our natural instinct is to rebel or go against what the authorities say (even if deep deep down we agree with or approve of it.)

I guess I seem like someone who likes CCE lessons because I’m such a morally upright person (or seemingly) and because I get to talk about my opinions on topics which people will seldom bring up. I guess people feels vulnerable about sharing their opinions about such things and find it very personal, but yours truly likes to talk about things like this. Firstly, I will never get proper moral lessons from my parents. Secondly, I like to find out things from different perspective and points of view.

That’s the reason why I really enjoyed the CCE lesson today after hearing Mr Mezz’s relationship advice. I think this is what a teacher should really be doing, instead of actively trying to get students to share and then attempt to correct them. Adults should just be honest man. I mean, come on we are old enough already (I guess), it is about time we get some REAL advice instead of some politically right answer or something teachers are scripted to talk about. Why not script our lives while you’re at it then we can learn the values you want us to have right? TYVM.

So back to what Mr Mezz was saying, he advised us to find someone who we can ALWAYS forgive when we are finding someone to settle down with. In our life, people is bound to disappoint us and we in turn will disappoint other people but there is a limit to how much we can stand someone. “Someone you love will be someone who you can always forgive.” I really love this advice and the way he say it because this has so much meaning and I have never thought of seeing it this way before which is why I was pleasantly stunned and amazed. I truly felt that I’ve learnt something important today, something that I will need when I continue this tough journey of life.

“Love means you never have to say sorry, ” – Love Story, 1970

I was googling the origin of this quote which I have heard long ago and I saw a comment explaining this quote which I really agree to. “When you love someone, and he has done you wrong, you have already forgiven him in your heart before he asks for forgiveness.” I have always felt that way so thank you kind soul for putting what I have been feeling for so long into words. :’) So "Friend" if you are ever reading this, remember when I said "don't apologise"? This is what I meant.
I saw another explanation, which goes: “It's about caring enough about that person to never hurt them... and therefore never have to tell them sorry.” To which I STRONGLY disagree. Love is all about getting hurt. Love grows stronger all the pain one goes through. Even if we care for someone a lot, even more than we care about ourselves, (so selfless yay you) we cannot avoid hurting people. If you are not hurting, I’m sorry you’re not in love.

Isn't it ironic, that we ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones that ignore us,
love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones that love us." – Jordan Neil

Enough about life, I hate preaching about love because all I have, is a history of failed relationships. LOL. Speaking of enjoyable classes, yesterday’s chemistry tutorial was very memorable. Somehow, our class mistook yesterday as Ah Boon’s birthday so we bought a cake, hoping to celebrate with him and to surprise him but guess what! SURPRISE SURPRISE for us! IT WASN’T HIS BIRTHDAY YTD. LOL. (not gonna reveal the actual day because it is not my “secret” to share)


But I guess he was more surprise than us, for we went out of our way to buy a cake for him and surprise him like that. The best part is probably seeing him so happy until he is unable to stop smiling. Especially more so since we pissed him off and disappointed him so badly last tutorial. If I were inspired again to pursue the teaching career, credits go to him. I guess for my JC life, I wouldn’t want another form teacher other than Mr Mezz (Champs wouldn’t have been so interesting if not for him), and I wouldn’t want another Chemistry teacher other than Ah Boon and I think Ms Chitra is an ideal GP teacher. Thank you fate, you have been kind to me. :’)

Have been meeting up with Malcolm quite often recently too. (We seldom hang de usually) For a RV-nurtured guy, he is quite an exceptional gentleman. What I love most about him, (not in the BGR way, please don’t read too much into it, a girl deserves a guy best friend too) is his outlook and attitude about life. Which is surprisingly in line with the characteristics of the main characters in Shojo Manga (I hope I didn’t get the genre wrong because that would’ve been very embarassing), and that is that no matter what is it that they do (the main characters in the comics I mean,) they will always always give it their best and try their hardest.

In Shojo Manga, it is the typical and cliché story for the ordinary girl to meet an extraordinary guy, the diva kind of guys who have the brains, the looks, is sporty and is .. perfect. In short, the guy every girl wants. Then the girl will do everything she can to get the guy, confess to him, and after getting rejected (they get rejected in EVERY SINGLE story at first, so save your tears for the back of the story when the girl finds out that there are more painful things than getting rejected), work hard to get his attention and his heart. And then the guy will somehow get touched and realize that he had fallen in love with her. Then sweet things happen and blahblahblah.



EVERYONE tells me that Shojo Mangas are bad for me because they portray unrealistic love. There is no way that prince charming will come by like this and there is no way that love stories will unfold like this. BUT after reading so many of the same plot, and romance stories which all have the same concept, I realize that all the main character girls have one thing in common. They are strong, independent, and always try their best and hardest in everything they do. So for those who read manga, your takeaway SHOULD NOT BE “I shall believe in the existence of true love” but it should be “I will work hard if I really want to get what I want”. Cliché but TRUE quote: “when there’s a will, there’s a way.”

And I think Malcolm really demonstrated to me that way of life ideally and I really look up to him for that. /salute/ I always thought that I have already tried very hard in the things that I do but I realize that I set too low standards and goals for myself and I have never pushed myself hard enough (oh mannnn I think this is a trait I got from my mum). I will probably not change overnight but I shall keep this flaw of mine in mind and consciously think about it whenever I do things from now on.

Another thing I love about Malcolm is that despite our difference in schedules, he will try to find time to hang out together with me. (I feel guilty and sad to say that normally I’m the one who will reject meeting him because I always need to be somewhere else, sigh) At first, being the paranoid and over-thinking Teh Ah, I suspected that he have had another motive or that he was bored so he needed company but no, his reason was straightforward and transparent, “that our friendship is important to him”, simple as that. And applause for this guy who knows that a girl wants to feel appreciated. Well, if you happen to read this Malcolm, thank you for all the times you’ve been there for me (no matter how short the time had been because I think every little moment counts dearly). And thank you for all your (unintended) teachings about life which you’ve taught and shown me. :’)



Speaking of guy BFF, another guy who I can be close to without any fear of it turning into a “friends with benefits” (or anything along those lines) is probably Waihong. (Omg I can’t believe I just put WH and FWB in one sentence. LOL) ANYHOW, despite how other people sees it, my first encounter with Waihong was actually in year 4 where both of us happen to be unwell during one PE lesson and we ended up sitting on the stage in the hall. I don’t know how did our conversation started, but in that short 30 plus minutes of our first encounter, we had a heart-to-heart-talk. (HTHT is something that you don’t always do with people you just met in case you don’t realize how cool this actually is)

I remembered him telling me of his dreams, of how he started to like dance, of how he want to keep dancing when he grows up, even if his parents disapprove. I remembered being in awe of him to have something to die for. To have a dream that you can aim towards and work hard for. If there is anything one can learn from Waihong, (other than the way he fights hard for the priority seats on the MRT, BTW this is an inside joke), it is how lives for what he really loves. And another attitude of his which is worthy for one to praise about, is his, “I don’t give a damn about what others say about me” attitude. /thumbs up/

Waihong is also a guy who will never let other people take advantage of him or short change him. If you ever hit him (you have been warned, so please don’t try), or get on his nerves, he will bite you back twice as hard and hit you with twice the force you used on him. On one hand, what he is doing is also a lesson for the rest of us: “let others know that they cannot bully you” and in that way, no one (okay, lesser people) will bully you. There are certain things in life that we shouldn’t take lying down, or accept without fighting back.

Because in this world, the ONLY person who will fight for you to the end, .. is yourself. People come and go, no one will stay by your side for forever, not even your family. If you don’t learn how to stand up for yourself (in the right way please, not the bitchy way tyvm), then prepare to live your life lying down and being stepped upon by others. And this concludes the lessons we can learn from Waihong. (in case you need a reminder, lesson no.1: dreams, no.2: priority seats, no.3: fight back, no.4: don’t let other people bully you, no.5: bribe Waihong with food if you wanna get on his good side)

SO, if Waihong, you end up reading this, which you definitely will one day. (Like how my brother found out that I dedicated a post to him and our father before) Thank you for everything that you have taught me (unintentionally I guess) and continue pursuing your dreams with all your best efforts! You are an inspiration and please continue to be so unique and soooo... Waihong-ish. Remmeber our promise yeah! (Refer to your birthday card if you forgot what I am talking about) If one day you make it big to the international stage, save a seat for me because I will definitely go to support you, and show everyone else how proud I am of you and how lucky I feel, to be able to be your friend! (:

XOXO,
Teh Ah and occassionally, Xinying
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