Holding onto Nothing
Wednesday, November 6, 2013 | 9:17 PM
Had lunch with Yijia, Miaoye, Huimin and Brangelina today at Pizzahut. (Mr Tan Boon Jong was sitting at the next table and eavesdropping on us) Since Project Work was just over, that was like the main topic during the meal. LOL This subject is flawed in so many ways. Firstly: the injustice in PW groups itself, secondly the injustice in the school and lastly, the injustice across the nation. Not all marks given for the PW subject are well-deserved, and it just shows how results are just another number on another piece of paper, it does not define one’s abilities.
Before I launch into my criticism, I just wanna say how glad I am for my PW group and how I’m thankful for the lack of drama and the countless fun we had. Not all groups are as lucky as us. The worst are the groups with slackers. I mean, even if you have someone who you don’t go along with in your group, maybe you and that someone’s ideas might clash but at least that someone contributes, or well, try to contribute.
Then there are the slackers who got the same mark as you because well, it’s a group project. But he/she does NOTHING to earn those marks. And the worst of the worst are the slackers who, having done nothing to contribute to the group, does well in his/her studies (because by not helping he/she now has the time to study for his/her test) but you didn’t because you were too busy doing yours and his/her part. (Congratulations you now have doubled the workload!)
And then comes OP, and suddenly he/she speaks and present very well! But despite his/her talent for speech-making, he/she decided not to help you and keep what he/she knows to himself/herself and individually, he/she score higher than you. Yes the story sounds familiar I know, I heard it from two different groups already. And there are many other groups out there with other problems. To this, the teachers might say, you should have come to us at the start and we will do something about it.
And what will they do with this kind of free-loader? It is hard for a leopard to change its spots. And they can’t just throw this leopard into another group of poor sheep right? (Omg I almost spelt sheep as sheeps LOL I need the grammar police) And then the teachers say, “In life, you will also meet this kind of people when you go into the workforce, so now we are teaching you how to deal with it.” And from this, I analyze that teachers admit that in their profession, there are slacker teachers too. Okay, fair enough.
But it’s still not fair to those who deserve to get more credit than they are given.
But then again, what is fair in this world anyways?
Personally, I feel lucky that I am from RV. For a school that has just turned into an IP school in 2008 (our last batch of O-levels students graduated in 2007), our past PW records has been quite pretty. Usually, more than 50% will get an A for PW and for the previous batch (class of 2013), a shocking 92% got A for PW (I hope I got my stats right because it is so embarrassing if I didn’t LOL). The difference lies in the teachers, and the quality/ability of students. Personally, I do feel like I’ve a lot of takeaway from PW. :’)
Anyways, its been ages since I met Charmaine (which explains the photo from way back because I couldn't find a recent photo of just us together only that is decent) but we finally met up for lunch yesterday (5 November 2013, Tuesday). She has always been someone who I hold dear ever since I know her. Our friendship started in Primary 5, when I was 11 and it was the year 2007. Back then, I was still quite the chubby girl and it was because of her that I slimmed down so much. Because when people spent their recess eating in the canteen, I spent my recess with her in the classroom.
I can’t remember the reason why she doesn’t like to go down to the canteen, maybe it was because of the crowds, but I remember telling myself that I will accompany her throughout recess and not let her spend it alone. So despite my love for food, if she doesn’t want to go to the canteen to eat, I will skip recess and spend it with her. I don’t have to do it, but being her friend, it’s just something that I want to do: Be there for her.
And that was what I’ve promised her after we graduated and go to different school, that I will always be there for her. Amongst the girls in my primary school clique (Shini, Jieyin, Charmaine and Alicia), I worry about her the most. When I think about her, I think about a beautiful, hand-crafted, one-and-only, ceramic vase hanging on a thin thread. Ceramic instead of glass because it is hard to read what’s on her mind, ceramic because she is so brittle that if the thread breaks, she will shatter and ceramic because she was went through so much, to reach where she is now today, like how ceramic vases went through extreme temperature and pressure and molding to get that perfect shape.
I remember my promise to her that I will be like a mother to her. That she can always be herself with me and I will always try my best to protect her “under my wing”. My most treasured memories with her were the times we had during primary school band. In our primary school (before all the renovations and changes took place), the band room was opposite the dance studio and we would sneak into the dance studio and have heart to heart talks where we would cry our heart out and have each other for support. (I guess that was how I became such a good listener).
We would still meet up during secondary 1 to 3 but eventually we got busier and stuffs and I just wish I’ve been there for her more. Anyways, after meeting her yesterday, I really felt like she is much happier now. Previously, some time back, her aura has felt dark and heavy to me. And even though, I can tell that she is still very troubled, she has matured a lot. I will still worry about her (well it can’t be helped because I really care about her), but I’m relief to see that she is more grown up now.
The vase is slowly getting more refined, more breath-taking but what I would wish for more is that the thread holding the vase would get thicker and stronger, and be nearer to the ground. Because if one day, if the thread did break and if the vase did fall, I want it to be within reach, I want to be able to reach out to catch it, and break its fall.
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