My Definition , Your Interpretation
Friday, October 11, 2013 | 11:45 PM
In my earliest years in RV, hardly anyone knows me I think. Mainly because I am happy in my own bubble, in my own world, and mostly because I was more than contented to spend almost all of my time meeting up with my guy of that time, devoting nearly all of my time after school with him, rather than socializing and knowing more people from school. (Yes I am a clingy person when it comes to relationship.) I give him space but I always make sure that whenever he needs me, I will be there for him. (That part of me, I know I’ve never changed.)
Being the young girl that I was, (I’m still young mind you. Just that I feel really old and worn out) even though I’ve had all the love and attention that I need from a special someone, I feel insecure. As you grow older, you will realize that, the love from the special and important people in your life is actually more than enough. But I was young, and along the way, being “popular” became important to me. To be the girl that everyone has heard of, became necessary. Like how an artist craves for fame. To be that girl whom everyone wants to be friends with, became crucial. Like how a cat aches to be petted.
Then, this girlfriend of mine told me, “Being popular, is not about knowing a lot of people, or being the girl who everyone talks about. Being popular, is, everyone who knows you, likes you. And when they talk about you, all they have, are praises for you and how glad they are to be your friend, in front of, and behind you.” I didn’t realize then, but it really changes many of my perspectives about things and how I behave. Just because of this simple words from someone who had then, meant the world to me as my girl best friend. (:
It’s like if I think about Pui pui, Kelloy and Amy and Glarris and Rio will just immediately pop up in my mind. And random memories and flashbacks will play in my head without my meaning to. And then all the missing and longing and heart aches of good old times starts all over again and I get the urge of wanting to meet up and hang out together again. (My “friend” often complains what a sentimental fool I am but personally, I don’t think it is such a bad thing tyvm) :p
(...Back to the ‘popularity’ thing) Because of that reminder from her, I realize that, opinions from those people who don’t know you as well as your close friends do, does not matter. ... Well not that much anyway. BUT IF, even your close friends have nasty things to say about you behind your back, it is really time for one to reflect. So what if many people knows you when all they do is bad mouth you? Those who don’t know you are just spreading rumors and those who truly know you, do not speak without claims.
I mean in the end, those things that really matter, will come from those who really matter in the end.
The other thing about how the redefined ‘popularity’ definition changed me, was how I look at people. It made me wonder about how, when a girl chases after so-called fame, not say on the media, but in their social environment, do they even know what they are running after? Have it crossed their mind that, with a different interpretation, they are running towards a different goal and going in a different, (and if I daresay so myself,) wrong direction? I mean, the things some people does to get attention, really irks me. And if I’m your friend, I will never, NEVER allow you walk down this path of regret…. Sucks to be you if I am not. (Self-reminder: Check on the ego.)
Personally, I can be quite an attention-seeking whore at times. (Who doesn’t want an extra tad of attention right?) If I have to put it nicely, I blame it on my lack of parental love and attention which cause me to resort to such means to make up for it. But truthfully, I think I am probably just finding excuses for myself for being the way I am. I just hope that while I was being me, my friends are not being disgusted with me. :x I know they judge me, LOL I judge them for being weird too. Hahaha.
Because that’s what friends are for. They know you’re weird, they judge you, they threaten to abandon you, because you’re weird but in the end, they are the ones who never leave you, always staying by your side, even though they know what a loser you are. So yes, after reading this, feel thankful for the ones who know you and never left and text them and express your deepest gratitude for their presence.
Anyways, this week had been great really. (Despite the minor set back on Wednesday morning) Wednesday I went down to LTA at Little India with my PW group to collect some information (that will hopefully help with our PW). The LTA Gallery there is beyond cool. Trust me. It feels more so when you explore the place yourself. Not only does it teaches one more about the transportation system in Singapore, it is fun and interactive (corny but true) and left such a deep impression on me that I daresay it is an example of a successful exhibition that raises awareness about certain things. (No I wasn't given any benefits to advertise them like this. Sigh) But of course, I think the people you are with makes all the difference and I truly madly deeply adore (just a minor exaggeration) my PW mates and enjoy hanging out and working with them. P:
Had a mini birthday celebration yesterday with Alicia for her 17th birthday. We are buddies for 12 years and counting (since kindergarten) Yes that’s how long my friendship has lasted and I’m really proud of it. :P We watched the movie: “About Time”. I swear that it’s like the sweetest movie EVER. (Yes I sound like a bimbo, especially if you hear me say this irl) Highly recommended for EVERYONE and more so for those who needs a bit more sweetness and love and hope and enlightenment and good goose bumps in their lives. Alicia herself thoroughly enjoyed it and thanked me for bringing her and here I want to thank Shirley for recommending it to me. LOL. I think I will want to watch it again with my “friend”. P: Yes it is that good and THAT worth it.
After the movie, she came over to my house (ah the good old times), and we had dinner together. Chef of the day was my dad and my mum later contributed a few dishes herself. (Disclaimer: they did not cook together but merely top up the leftovers that was there). My mum was amazed by how Alicia never seem to change since we knew her and even though she's funnier, cooler, crazier, and everything better now, she still feels like the Alicia that she always have been. She really is one of the few people and rare species who never seem to change. I'm so glad that in this life our paths crossed and I feel so lucky to be able to be her childhood friend. ^^
Anyways, today I had the most hectic time planning a birthday surprise for Huimin with my class girls and the result was so unexpectedly fulfilling (the setting we set up to surprise her was beyond romantic I swear). The whole time it was just drama, drama and... more drama till the end. Hahahhaha. My sides still ache from laughing and I feel like laughing again when I think about it. Hahahha. I swear this collaboration between the 5F girls exceeds any teamwork any PW group has performed. Today is one of the few days I feel so alive. :) Toddles
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