I promise I'll listen if you ask me to
Saturday, October 26, 2013 | 10:26 PM
I blurred the photo because I was making a pedo smile.. Anyways, I am writing this post with a more stable state of mind than I have for the previous post. Firstly, my dad is still a mean jerk (I say of this with such calamity that it even scares me a little) and secondly, I would like to take back certain mean things that I have said about “friend”. Who, for the past two days, had been spending all his spare time with me and waiting around for me.
On Thursday my PW group went to re-film our video that will be used for our oral presentation coming Wednesday. We needed to use a car to film some scenes and he was free so he agreed to lend us his car to use. Arranged with him to meet at 4pm in Jialing’s and Amanda’s neighborhood but due to delays in the afternoon, we reached at around 4:45pm. (We were filming some scenes in town between 1pm to 4pm) He waited at Gek Poh Shopping Centre for 45 minutes for us.
I was (definitely) more able to be myself, more relaxed and happier in his presence than in my dad’s presence while filming (my dad was there when we were filming our first video). We ended at around 6pm then he left. The rest of us went over to Amanda’s house to film some final shots. Her house looks very family-orientated and feels very homely and is just like a mini kindergarten I swear, with all the childhood toys that I used to have but mine is now in Malaysia. Anyways, we wrapped up and finish around 7pm.
On Friday morning, which is yesterday, there was nerve-wrecking family drama starring and started by my dad. But I am now too tired to describe it in detail but anyways, it ended dramatically with me grabbing my bag and running out of the house with my half-eaten breakfast (which I threw away in de end... I cant believe I threw away an egg ARGH) and in tears. And because I needed the emotional support, my “friend” agreed to meet me for lunch.
So he waited till I’m free in the afternoon for lunch and we spent about an hour plus together in JP. He kept wanting to buy something for me but it makes me feel bad if I receive too much from him. But after rejecting him, he made me feel bad for saying no... Sigh. But what made me more worried was not knowing how many teachers saw me with him. I didn't happen to see or avoid any teachers because my eyes and all my other sense are glued onto him... I saw a middle-age female science teacher though but she has never taught me before de. Okays that’s not the main point...
After meeting him, I went back to school around 4pm for more PW. Our group plan to end around 6pm so I asked him whether he mind sending me home. ... And so he waited for another two more hours for me. Well, I just want to say and prove that he isn’t as bad as how I made him sound in my previous post. Sure, there are times when he is unreasonable too (though not as extreme as my dad of course) but at his best, he is generous, his presence comforts me and best of all, he accepts me for me (even my flaws and my horrible attitude problem).
Anyways, it was Mr Chng’s Farewell Ceremony on Tuesday. But it’s not like we won’t see him again in school as he signed a re-contract (is that what it's called?) with RV and will be back next year. Will see him out of school also as 4J’12 made a deal to go visit his house every new year. Mr Chng is the most patience mathematics teacher I’ve ever met. And due to his distinct and unique character, he made lessons very memorable without even trying. Although the memories are a blur now, I still remember laughing throughout his math lesson last year.
Speaking of the times in year 4 really make me miss my girls a lot. The changes from 16 years old to 17 years old are too big. Or rather, I should say that the jump from secondary 4 to JC1 is such a leap in terms of work load and people. Work load wise I’m sure many can understand but why people-wise? It’s still the same RV culture you may say, but I realize that people who study different subjects really have very different characters, beliefs, attitudes and behavior.
My subject combination in secondary 4 was: Chemistry, Physics and Geography on top of the compulsory Higher Chinese, English, Singapore Studies, Economics, E-Math and A-Math. In JC1, my subject combination is: H2 Chemistry, H1 History, H2 Economics and H2 Math (CHEM in short) on top of the compulsory H1 General Paper and H1 Project Work (which I am taking this year and has been my life for the past few weeks). So yes I dropped Physics and Geography to take a subject that I’ve never touched for a long while: History.
P.S. I love studying all the subjects I’m currently taking ... except for Mathematics. LOL.
/deep breath in/ I love learning History. I mean, I always have an interest in History but I only realize now how useful it is to learn History. But today I’m not going to talk about the subject itself but more of what I observed from people who study it. Like how individual-ish and opinionated they are. I don't mean it in the arrogant or "leave me alone" kind of individual btw. And when I first joined the history class, I can’t help but notice that this happen all the time:
Sorry I couldn’t find the picture that totally nails it. I saw it de other time but now I couldn’t find it again so I made a random one for now. At first I thought it was just me, and then I realize it happens to others too. Maybe they are used to it or maybe we hang out in large groups so it can’t be helped that when someone said something and it got overlooked or ignored or people just didn’t hear. But it sometimes make me feel that nobody cared enough... Like, as though, everyone's too busy focusing on something else.
It's not about how often we meet up, it's more about how we spend the time together when we meet up. It's about the quality of the time spent together and not the quantity of the time spent together. ...If you get what I mean.
More often than not, I was talking and then I realize no one was listening so I slowly fade away. Either that or after I talk finish, I wouldn’t get a respond. (Now that I think about it, maybe it’s karma for how I treat a particular girl in class.. Oh wells nvms...) Personally, if two people talk at once I will reply one then ask the other to repeat what he or she is talking about. I always try my best not to ignore what someone said. Because I think there’s nothing sadder than zero acknowledgement for one's presence. Anyways, something else that i always experience and feel in History class:
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