another path to flow ,
Monday, February 27, 2012 | 8:01 PM
Had a new seating arrangement . Wohoohoo ._. I find it hurting , hurts like hell , okays I’m lost at what words to use to describe the tears I blinked back . Sorry for my limited vocab . Lawls . But it seriously hurts when one make it so obvious that they don’t wanna seat beside you . Like my previous tablemate and current one , who apparently don’t wanna sit beside me la . Lawls . It’s probably cause it’s me . /demoralised/ But from now on , shall make it a point not to broadcast or show my distaste for someone else . ( … not like I have much hatred for anyone . though I do have my “the judge” title from Kari for something :X )
` For who knows how much tears one blinked back when you shun someone .
Past three days had been meeting up with Amy before going school . Went to play at the playground , hung around the blocks near school , ate breakfast at void decks , reaching school later than usual … LOL . Now sounding like a rebel . But these makes it not feels like a school day . And it’s so much better being able to sleep in late and not having to catch the early bus . And finally have someone to pei me window shop (literally) in the morning at JP !
I guess it’s true that being with someone gives you courage . You feel like there’s someone for you to fall back on , and do things that you would never do when you’re alone . ( for fear of being judged maybe ? ) It’s like the gangs and gangster thing . One would fear for a gang more than a gangster ( who would usually call for his gang . LOL . ) No wonder they say strength comes in numbers .
` For when you’re alone , you’d be more aware of the fact that you are .
Not that I don’t like my alone time . I love , during emotional weather , being alone . Travelling alone especially . On a bus , going for a long walk , writing essays in my (self-acclaimed) beautiful handwriting . I actually treasure my personal space so much that I’d distance myself or close people out . And it kinda makes me feel in control . Maybe cause when there’s a crowd , I’d need to fight for the oxygen in the air . ... Stupid . I know .
Missed the Duathlon CIP on Saturday . Mr Xiong once said that those CIP have limited learning points but personally I love this kind of CIP . Meeting people from all walks of life , learning about how different events function , opening doors to different worlds . And it showed me different jobs from the usual 9 to 5 office work , doctor , lawyer , teacher , policemen , firemen . … Get my point . I remembered my first marathon-related CIP . Memorable ttm . And the sense of achievement was overwhelming .
` What would I give to relive the best moments of my life .
Was finding people to pei me on Saturday . In the end met with Fengxian first . Yeah had replies from other people but he was the first . And for once my “friend” was finally free but by then I already made arrangements with Fengxian . Lawls . So I decided ( after a long struggle and quarrel ) , not to cancel plans with Fengxian . I never regret . … Okays maybe a little . But I kinda arrived too early and had to eat breakfast at KFC alone . SURPRISINGLY , I felt quite comfortable in my own skin , eating alone I mean . ... Must be their delicious porridge . LOL .
Went library with him to study . Cleared concepts and traded notes on chemistry . /senseofachievement/ Pity he never learn physics or else I’m sure he could have helped me with that too . Have chemistry and physics test on this Friday . /stressedmax/ after he left , Alicia came . LOL . .. What a day to be meeting primary school friends . Also went to cut hair with Alicia ( same thing happened last year ) . But the $2.50 haircut left me feeling like a cancer patient with what little hair I have left .
` Cause people who really care appear in different forms and at the most unexpected times .
Actually , I was like writing this post during second period of school . Lawls . Could actually , somehow , think and sort through my thoughts clearer . Anyways , just got back my geog paper and like failed miserably . Why . Am . I . Not . Surprised ? … Yet disappointed . Haven’t been doing well in geography since ... since I started learning it . LOL . No idea why I chose geog over history , physics over biology , when my interest is both for the latter .
` For we chose the one we think we can be happier with over the one who promise to make us happy .
P.S. The photos are the webcams i took from 2010 , 2011 and lastly 2012 .
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