I am forced by the passing of time, the transition of life stages, and the expectations of society to grow up and to behave like a "grown-up" (whatever that would constitute). But here, I would just be a little childish, a little self-centered, a little irresponsible, a little too honest but also a little too pretentious.

24, and still counting.




Kept all my past posts intact because my past was what made me, me. Deleting them doesn't change who I am so I revisit my memories sometimes, to learn and to laugh at my past mistakes.

(Just kidding, I revert some posts to drafts because I'm utterly embarrassed.)


January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
October 2012
November 2012
April 2013
May 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
July 2016
October 2016
December 2016
January 2017
March 2017
April 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
October 2019
December 2019
April 2020
May 2020


Designed by: Ahting

The other day , someone was asking me , tell me about you . Gosh . This is like one of those life questions that involves more than 3764891764874 brain cells working at once . A challenge yes . So here i am , putting my brain cells to work rather than playing laggy online games . :) But ... *jumps to another topic*

This being my first post in December , I intended to make it worthwhile to whoever that might be interested in reading this . No I’m not dead or ditching my blog but recently I just lost the motivation . D: The most memorable event that happen to me this holidays is actually the CIP I’ve been to . Especially the standard chartered marathon REPC . went for this CIP organised by Youth for Christ too . And helped to make Christmas stuffs and give out stuffs at Orchard road which was actually quite recent like 18.12.11

I was asked . What was the meaning of Christmas . Oh and just this morning my dad was saying that Christmas is invented for more job opportunities . … Partly true but I would now like to express my detest for people saying stuffs like these . Whether meant as a joke or making a serious statement , I find it …. Annoying . It makes life sounds harsh . Like …. Christmas is actually a lovely occasion , think of all the celebration , the atmosphere , the love , the appreciation of what you have , the Christmas tree etc. etc. Was talking about the origin of Christmas … I’ve heard from somewhere once , that it is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ , who had sacrificed for all our sins . ( I kinda deleted whatever I’ve typed after this cause I felt that it was too personal ) Lawls . But one thing for sure . My favourite part of Christmas , are the Christmas songs ! :D Currently addicted to the red nose reindeer one .


Anyways , I’ve been helping my dad do his admin stuffs recently too . Haven’t been doing that since …. Since primary five I think . …. Since that unfortunate incident . ._. But anyways , after I start doing it agains he took it for granted that I have to help him which really pisses me off . I mean , I wanna help cause I want to , to lighten his burden and all . And I confess I am a stubborn mule and I hate being ordered to do stuffs so if you force me to go right , I’ll rather walk the plank then listen obediently . Which alas , get me into a lot of trouble . ._. Thus , very sensitive me have an enormous sense of pride and my dad’s attitude bothers me a lot . ... A . LOT .

But then there’s this sense of achievement which I have after finishing a job . P: Speaking of my dad , my mum became very unreasonable this few days . And there was this , TWO particular incidents which pisses me off . BIG TIME . We planned to go watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 together on 17.12.11 but at the last minute , LAST MINUTE , she decided to go for her voluntary stuffs at the temple instead . And so I threw a temper . …. And she said I was childish and unreasonable . Well , I’m sorry that I’m still a child who values family time . I’m sorry that I got jealous that I was second place compared to your volunteer work . I’m sorry I couldn’t be understanding and abide to your wishes like a obedient but brainless child .

But it thoroughly annoys me that you know all the names of the kids in that class , but you dunno anything about me . And it angers me that you blame me for not talking to you when you don’t even hear , much less listen to what I actually say and I have to give in to you all the time . And it actually makes me very disappointed and sad that you say that I do things according to my current mood . Try being in my shoes . Try having your heart broken and everyone else ignorant and couldn’t be much less bothered by it . …. Having this feeling that the word heart broken does not correctly depicts the pain enough . Rather , it demotes my actual feeling . ._.

Everyone I met , every new stranger I came into contact with , always think I’m older than I actually look . But deep inside I’m just a kid . *I’m Just a Kid by Simple Plan suddenly plays in mind* I still need love that no one else cans give other than my parents . ….. I think I’m asking for too much . Lawls . Past experiences already tells me that . But … somehow , recently , with all the stuffs happening , I forgotten how I was once disappointed by my family . But it’s very tiring , reminiscing all the time , why remind yourself of the pain right ?

Oh . I was once addicted to pain . LOL .

Lost passion and interest in band now too . Lawls . It’s like meeting a tiger with renewed hunger , demanding more and more each and every time . I miss looking forward to going for band . And the dreading for CCA ? It’s coming back . And it’s not good cause I’m suppose to lead my section and all . :/ Was really scarred the other day ... Was having bad mense cramp … like always . Lawls . And I asked whether I cans go home early . What scarred me was , someone told me I still look fine leh . Lawls . And my immediate thought was , the many times of me hiding my real emotions . …. Despising myself for being such a good actor now … ._. why cant I show pain on my face ?!

Speaking of acting and all . Reread skipbeat the other day . I know I forbid myself to read manga like those cause as expected , now I’m trapped with the fantasies of the existence of such love . … I got myself addicted …. FML . Anyways , back to band . There was band day camp at Sentosa . It was kinda fun actually . And I was desperately hoping I got a nice tan afterwards but all I got was blisters and this exhaustion . And I realize how small sentosa actually is and even it is possible to play hide and seek there and be seek out ! … Okays I’m exaggerating . The seeker would probably die trying to find the others ….


Oh I suddenly remember that I forgot to mention whether I did watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 in the end . Uhh , went to watch with my beloved brother . Bought a new pair of shades to make myself feel better . Yeah it worked . ( did made me feel better I mean ) I really wanna watch Wicked the musical or the iChestnut 15 though . But spending that much on tickets …. Think I would rather spend it on buying presents for others or new clothes . :D
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