that part of me ,
Monday, July 11, 2011 | 6:27 PM
I wish you could drink your words and realize how bitter they taste (:
Had a hectic past week . Had two tests in one day last Friday . Physics and English . Just gotten back the physics paper today . 7/10 . (Y) But i could have done better cause 5 mins before the test , our teacher actually went through the important part ( First and second Newton's Law ) agains but i never listen properly and din memorize what he said ! Or else could have done better . And full marks was within my reach had i read the qns correctly . Cause i forgot to convert the values uhh . The paper gave us in kilometers per hours , ans in meters per second and yours truly neglected that important much part . :/
English paper was right after physics paper and had no mood to do the paper AT ALL . And apparently it's not easy cause many people complained it afterwards . Cans pass bah i think . Have yet to come across any disappointing grades in the new semester . :) oh ya , mentioned in this previous post about this chinese presentation ? Got 17.5/20 . Yeah baby . :D
Been out agains for the weekends . Had band practise on Saturday and went to watch SparkWinds perform at Esplanade on Sunday (L) . Awesome ttm . Their music was so nice it kept giving me the goosebumps ! And some part was so soothing i almost fell asleep . And many a times i found myself moving uncontrollably along to the music . And yes , that's how good they sounded . Hate sitting beside Chiayilong though . Who spoilt the mood at random intervals . Annoying much tyvm . :P
Memorable time with the RV and Yuhua Percussion after the concert . Went to Marina Square and had Mac , the only place which we see as big enough to fit ALL of us . Went to buy a cake for Sally . Had a hard time looking around . In the end got a cookie and cream ice-cream cake from Swensens . And it was epic cause they dont provide knief and we had to walk to John Little to get a steel knife . Cause apparently , normal plastic knife cant cut through their cakes . LOL .
Playful Yuhua Perc went to play with the dry ice , and froze up the green tea . Then they teased Sally and spread cake all over her face and hair . Thinking it's not enough , Shamin went to on to wipe the cake onto Sally's dress . If i were Sally , i would kill all of them . Lawls . Literally . Seriously . Capricorns like me cant take jokes up to some point and i would just walk off pretending i'm not angry but giving THE attitude all the same . :X but Sally was a good sport and even went on to joke about having "skin treatment" . And from now on , cookies and cream ice cream had a new meaning to me . :P
Went to join the Saxophones after leaving perc . Which i've done for two consecutive days . :x Joined them for lunch at mac ( agains right ? i know ) on Saturday after band too . I personally think their year 1s are better . For at least they replied and not only LAUGH when i talk to them . And they dont suddenly go quiet when i go near them like i'm so kind of plaque or sth and if they open their mouth when i'm around they'll like catch AIDS or sth ? ._. Not only ishh Saxo de juniors not bad . Senior not that bad too . Hahaha . Nice to look at and easy to be with . Good company all in all . And it seems like i've bond with them more than my own section that day . :/
I had so many stuffs on my mind , so many weights to carry , all i could hope for ishh someone to understand . Starting to think and set goals alot more and after thinking about all these stuffs , i worry about getting them done . Recently , had not been able to achieve much and kept having this feeling that i've many important things to do but i just dunno and cant rmb what's to be done . Stressed out much . And you . You were no help .
I feel like accepting you , embracing you but at the same time , i want to push you away , i want to hurt myself to hurt you . If god doesn't forbid , i dont mind taking my life just to hear what you would say to me on my deathbed . And yesh , that's how serious it ishh . I want to say bye to you over and over just to make you cry agains . I want to slap you in the face one moment , and say ily the next moment . I want to have countless number of flings , to make you jealous , to make you sad , to make you disappointed . I want to make you regret for leaving me and going out with another girl . I want to disappear and make you search for me like a desperate fish seeking for the last drop of water on the Earth . For that's what you're doing to me now .
But no . God forbids . For i am a good girl who take my tears to bed . For the harder it's hurting me , the harder i'll laugh . For i know , that everyone else in the world , and esp you , had better things to do , more important stuffs to worry about , than me . For no matter how much i hate you , part of me still wants you to be happy , that part of me who will reluctantly go home after camping outside your house when you said you're busy , that part of me who will press cancel instead of sent after typing a msg filled with stuffs that i know would hurt you , that part of me who swallow it all and wish you all the best . I heard from that other part of me that she want to commit suicide de other day but after i gave her my permission , she said that actually , she wasn't ready to go .
I love you ? And it's now more of a question than a statement .
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