To run away from suicide ,
Saturday, April 2, 2011 | 5:22 PM
In the very stress period again . Exams and particularly , SYF . Hope blogging will help me release a bit of the tension . Had a pretty horrible April Fools yesterday and it's not because i was pwned . The thing ishh , it wasn't fun at all . No fun , no nothing . Lawls .
Do you know what it's like to have your eyes misted , and having to hold it there . To want to let it out and yet you're forced to keep it all in . To want to find someone but dunno who to call . It's a really horrible feeling , to be left hanging there , desperately wanting to hold on to something . I read this story de other day . It's in chinese uhh , i anyhow translate . The actual text ishh of cause more thought-provoking . Sorry . :x
A guy and a girl has been in a relationship for six years and recently , their relationship seems to have staled . The girl felt insecure and wanted to test the guy to see if he still love her as deeply as before so she decided to "disappear" and see if he will worry and come find her . Therefore she off her phone, stog going online, took leave from work and went to hide in her friend's house .
On the first day , she heard nothing from the guy . She tried to stalk him online but he wasn't there and there was no calls or messages from him . On the second day , she was very disappoint to find that he din bother to contact her agains . She gave up all hopes on the thrid day , and she went back to the life before , confirmation with her friends and colleagues showed that he din miss her . A month later , they broke up , reason being that their character din match .
Months later , the girl found out that on the few days that she "disappeared" , her ex boyfriend had gastric perforation and was hospitalised . So , when she was hoping to be missed , he was hoping to have someone to take care of him . And both of them disappointed each other without knowing it . When you were busy hoping for some love , maybe , just maybe , someone else out there ishh waiting for YOUR love .
We always do things for a reason . But as we get tired and stressed and moodless , we forgot what we were doing all these for . I dunno how many times i've heard people telling me , be strong , try harder , do what you say . Sometimes i wish someone would know . How hard i've tried . How high an expectation i've really set for myself . How i'm scared that when i sleep today , tomorrow i will wake up a different person . How i would try not to feel and go cold so that it wont hurt or matter so much . How i've all these rants inside me that i would keep . How i would hold my tears back because i know , crying would get you nothing , just swollen eyes . I dont think my life ishh pathetic or saddening , if even , i think i've led a very colourful life . Not the most inspiring life story , but good enough . Speaking of inspirational story , check out , Carly Fleischmann , a voice found in a silent world .
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